Anata no egao
by The Silent Wing
Summary: Menma's mother moves on. (one shot)


Meiko.

You only wanted everyone else to be happy. That was all.

I'm sorry I let your efforts go to waste.

The day you left us, Meiko I swore that I would protect Satoshi and never let what happened to you happen to him. I made sure he had everything he needed; everything to make him happy. I took as many jobs as I could to support our small family. I had barely made time for myself and even less for Satoshi.

I regret that so, so much. He and your father tried so hard to stop me but I needed to work for them or at least to distract myself from the grief that even now stays years after y-you d-di- I'm sorry I-I still can't quite say it. If you could hear me now you would probably be trying to comfort me and smiling while trying to hold my hand like you used to when you were younger.

You always did that. Whenever we were together you would make an excuse to hold my hand. And hold it tightly you did while smiling at me with your childish grin. In fact, I probably never told you this but when you were born nobody was smiling because the doctor said that you were so small and pale that you would not last the night. I was terrified and wouldn't let go of you. Eventually a nurse took you away but I followed and stayed with you the whole night while you slept in an incubator with a tiny oxygen mask. I fell asleep but when I woke I found a grip around my finger and there you were looking at me with your beautiful eyes and toothless smile.

Oh look at me I'm crying already. I came here to talk to you and all I'm doing is washing your stone.

We are all doing better now though. Satoshi and I don't have quite the strong bond I had with you, he's closer to his father and even aims to follow his profession. It's all thanks to your Super Peace Busters group that helped us all.

Oh that's right, your friends are coming today too. They've changed so much; no longer those immature children.

They've all grown up.

Now what were those nicknames you had? Ah yes, Yukiatsu and Tsuruko are both at a marvellous university. Their parents must be so proud and I am too. That year when Satoshi brought your group back home was when I started to forgive them. It wasn't that I thought they had caused your fall. I just hated the fact that it was only you that didn't get to grow older. I didn't realize it at the time but they hated it too.

It's different now and we've all gotten closer. In a way, I guess I became their second mother, for Poppo and Anaru at least. They're getting along fine as well. Anaru has just started working at the preschool where you and Satoshi use to attend and where I'm currently working at. She loves interacting with all those little wonders. Poppo is still Poppo; always touring everywhere but he's never too far away from home.

Jintan is working hard too. He's helping his father with his work and putting so much effort into studying at a university about a bus ride from here. He reminds me so much of his mother; always stubborn and doing too much. You probably can't remember but the first time you and Jintan met was because of a play date his mother, Toko arranged. Toko and I were close friends in high school so when her family moved to this town I was so happy to see her. We did drift away after that but only because of her treatment. I hadn't known about her illness until you became friends with Jintan at school and he told me about it. The last month was the hardest but I had to be strong for both you and Jintan's sake.

Your friends tell me that you made a promise to Toko. It was an odd one but I do understand what she must have felt. To always see your child stay strong for the sake of others while on the inside they feel pain is nothing a parent wants to experience. When you were here I use to wish that from you too. You never cried even when you were a baby, the closest you came to crying was a small wail then that was it.

My wish has been fulfilled too.

Everyone showed me the letters you left for them. And Jintan told me what you said. I wish I could have been there but it's probably best that I wasn't. Even though I'm relieved that your pain is finally over I wouldn't have been able to move on if I had seen your tears.

I'm trying to live a better life now. I break down once in a while but it's getting better. You don't have to worry about me okay?

You were there the day Satoshi told me not to leave out your plate right? I'm not sure how but you were there. A mother never forgets her child I was trying to hide it though. Satoshi and your father had enough to deal with right?

Anyway, I can hear your friends coming now so I'd better finish. I hope you're happy Meiko and hope that we aren't worrying you. I promise you never have to hide your tears again.

I'm sorry for not being a good mother for Satoshi, a wife for your father and lastly I'm sorry I couldn't find enough strength to visit you up till now.

I'll come back soon and even if I don't I know you'll still be watching over us and smiling.

And of course we will be smiling too.

* * *

Thank you for reading. I've always wondered what Irene (Menma's mother) felt after the series ended. The movie did show that she was moving on but I really wanted to know more about how Menma's family is doing or maybe that's just me. I felt sooo sad while writing this. I'm not sure I convied Irene's feelings properly but I hope it worked. Sorry for any mistakes and please leave me some feedback. Thanks again for reading.

- Wing :)

p.s incase you didn't know Anata no egao= Your smile


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